My Surgery

I had my Surgery on Tuesday. I had several break downs before even going in. Thankfully Bryon was there and kept me calm and tried keeping my mind off of things. I remember them taking me down to holding and I completely and totally lost it. I was crying hysterically. The lady that does the IVs wasn't really nice and wanted to put one in my wrist. I refused and so the anastiligist, whom was really nice, did it. She asked me where i wanted it and put it where i wanted. I remember still crying and she put something in my IV and it was like instantly I stopped crying. I don't remember being wheeled back. I barely remember them asking if i could get on the table and all I could do was shake my head no. I kinda remember them putting a mask on me and i was out. I remember waking up in recovery. I could barely see anything. The nurse asked if i was hurting and i couldn't answer. I just shook my head yes. About 5 minutes later I could talk and i told her I was in pain. They gave me something in my IV and then a shot of something else. I asked how long I had been in surgery for and how long i had been in recovery. She said total my Surgery took an hour and i had been in recovery for an hour. I told her i wanted to see Bryon so she called up to the waiting room and told him to meet us on the 2nd floor. I was still completely out of it, but i needed him right then. We didn't leave the hospital until 6:30p. We dropped off pain pills and came to the house. Ashley took me to go get my pills and we went and got what was supposed to be a Christmas gift for Bryon. I decided to give it to him early since he deserved it. We came back and I ate for the first time in 24 hours. I had 2 bowls of soup, crackers, and a grilled cheese. Solids decided they didn't like me and wanted to choke me so I've been taking it easy with them. I don't remember a lot about Tuesday or Wednesday. I think i slept most of the day Wednesday. Yesterday I totally over did it though. I needed to go get my check so i drove from north richland hills to weatherford to get my check. I hadn't had a pain pill since 6am and it was going on 1pm. I forgot my wallet at the house so Ashley ran in and grabbed it and my pills. She drove me to go get my check cashed and pick up a few things. By the time we got back Bryon was home. I was hurting so I laid in bed for a little while. We went and got something to eat and I laid in bed some more. After resting for a few hours Ashley and i made brownies cause they sounded really good. We ended up burning them though LOL. I went to sleep and woke up this morning so sore I could barely move. Today is gonna be a lazy day since Bryon has my car and I don't need to do anything. I am so so so sore :(

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Some Not So Good News....

Here is a little back story on all of this. Since I can remember I have had HORRID periods. I am talking I would stay up all night and cry and nothing would help. I remember missing a ton of school because of these cramps I would get. I went to dr after dr and no one could ever tell me anything. They told me there was nothing wrong and that I was fine. Well come to find out that isn't the case. There is and has been something wrong for years now. It's name, endomitriosis. In June of 2010 I had horrible cramps. It was so bad I felt as if I needed an over the counter epidural to subside the pain because NOTHING was working. I remember trying to cook dinner that same night and I couldn't stand, I didn't want to eat, and I cried for hours before finally giving in and going to the ER thinking it could be a pregnancy gone wrong. The ER did tests and once again, nothing is wrong. I went in to see my midwife at least 5 or 6 times and they told me the same thing, nothing is wrong. It seemed like in the months following it just got worse and worse. In January we were supposed to go to a birthday dinner with my grandma for my 20th birthday. I was hurting really bad that day. For those that know me, I am not one to go out to dinner at a nice place in sweats, but I couldn't change because the pain was SO bad. I struggled through eating dinner and it seemed like it was just being drug out. Finally we left to go home. I crawled in bed with my heating pad and cried. I called the midwife and they suggested I see an OB and see if he could get to the bottom of it. I called his office and set an appointment for March. I went in and they did a sono and it revealed that I had a fibroid that was 2cm. He told me he wanted to monitior me for 6 months and see what happened in that time frame. The pain got worse and worse. We tried birth control pills and they weren't working. I was on whits end. When Bryon and I got together I decided to go on depo because I really do not want another baby right now. Maybe in the future, but DEFANITLY not right now. The depo seemed to help with the pain a little. I bled for weeks on end though which is not a good thing. I went back in to the dr on Wednesday and he thought it might be something other than the fibriod causing all the pain Im having. He scheduled me for a sono on Thursday and then a consult with him on Friday. I did the sono and by the end of the day I was in so much pain I was crying. I went to the consult yesterday morning and talked to him. There are 3 new fibroids, but he still doesn't think that is what's causing all my pain. We discussed treatment options for me and decided that the best option is surgery. They are going to go in and burn off any scar tissue caused by the endometriosis. We think that should fix the pain. Im praying it fixes it. Because of where one of the fibroids is at, if we remove them I would have to have a c-section with my next child and I am not willing to do that. I know that each person has there own opinion on that subject, but unless my child is in grave danger of dying I will not have a c-section. Period. End of discussion. Call me stubborn, but look who my parents were. If it comes right down to it I would rather try and manage it with perscription pain meds until I decide to have another baby and then just deal with it. Surgery scares the hell out of me and I refuse to do this again. I had already decided when I was pregnant with Brian that if I had to have a c-section I wanted to be asleep. I didn't want to see or feel anything. Ok, Im going to stop before I have an anexity freak out yet again.